This edit was made by the creator of this site - if it is changed, I won't be back to fix it. I am unable to delete this website, but I would if I were able.

I have recently removed my videos from YouTube - I realize I've been gone for a while, but I've changed a ton while I was gone. It was really hard to get myself back to reality, but it was very worth it, and I don't want to be wrapped up in the fucked up stuff I did in the past. I regret that I can't talk to everyone I was in contact with personally, but it's still really tempting to return to my addiction to this stuff, so this is what I can do. I don't know if there are people out there who weren't deceiving themselves or others about vampirism, but I was, and I own that. It's shitty, but I'm changing, and that's not who I am now.

This is a copy of the message I left on youtube:

I'm sorry it took me so long to delete these videos. I've known for a while that I should, but it scares me to acknowledge what I did here. I know it hurt people and drew some into the same problems I was having, and I'm sorry for that, too. I want you to know that these videos represent my desperate attempt to cling to a lifestyle and system of beliefs that kept me in the dark as to what my problems really were. In convincing other people of what I wanted to believe, I hoped to cement my own certainty. I'm glad it didn't work, because then I would never have had a chance to change what was going wrong in my life. It's not that complicated - I was lonely. Believing I was a vampire made it easy to make excuses not to talk to people. It also let me feel intensely connected to people for short periods of time - a cessation of loneliness that never lasted and a false feeling of power. I never even liked the taste - I'd rather eat a good hamburger. I let myself get way out of control, and I'm starting to get back in control now by being honest with myself and making sure I'm open to the people around me and what they are saying. I'm feeling much less lonely, but it hasn't gone away - I don't think it ever will, but I can hope. Where I am now isn't wonderful, but I can enjoy myself and start to accept that the very things I disowned by trying to be a vampire as the things I value most. It's a beautiful feeling to not feel weak for loving a fellow human.

I hope you can forgive me, but all I can do is move towards forgiving myself, and this is a big step.

I doubt, therefore I am.